After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize