its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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