HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
