At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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