I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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