So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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