I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
