apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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