My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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