Buhtt sex?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
