ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
The air was thick with penises
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize