You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
