you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
