hotel room ftw
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
