How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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