i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
There r osticjed everywhere
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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