put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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