you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
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