if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
