so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
