If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
