i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
