She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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