Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
