Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
