Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
