I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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