We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
