Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize