In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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