I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
