I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Sorry about my life...
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
