At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize