i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
