I'm drive I can fine osifer
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
