I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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