Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
