Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Come share oat with me in your robe
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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