Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
