Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
