You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
