He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
