Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
