I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
