Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
