i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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