Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
