hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Randomize
