i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
