dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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