is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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