Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
