I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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