Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
