This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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