If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
