i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I want to fling myself into the sun
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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