once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize