Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
