Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize