What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
