He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
