Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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