we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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