Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
