I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
