And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize