Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
