So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
