She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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