Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
