In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
this will be a night to untag.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
