WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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