Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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