i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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