The beer is more important than you right now.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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